The first sentence of your pitch is by far the most important thing you’ll write in the entire duration of your article’s life. If you get this one line right, you have hope. Lots of it. If not, you’re out even before you’ve had a chance to tout your credentials, show the editor how unique you are or why this article is great for her audience.
Busy editors are generally pulled in or turned off by this “hook” so it needs to grab her attention from the get-go.
The leads I talk about below are mostly from queries. Some are also from articles. Most writers, including me, pretend we’re writing the actual article and start our queries the way we would our finished piece. The idea is that eventually, you’ll need to work on a lead to hook your reader as well. Why not do the grunt work initially and increase the chance of getting the assignment?
But be warned: writing the lead is for most writers, the toughest part of the piece. It takes practice and it takes work.
(A wonderful article on leads:
http://www.poynter.org/column.asp?id=52&aid=35609)
Here are some of the leads I’ve written over the years.
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The Problem-Solution Lead
It’s no surprise your friends will come banging on your doorstep trying to drag you to a party right when you’re in the middle of studying for an exam. Or, you sit down to write a report, but find yourself thinking of the latest season of The O.C. instead.
If you constantly find yourself wishing you’d rather do your roommate’s dirty dishes than finish your assignments, you might have some concentration issues, and it’s likely to reflect in—gasp!—grades.
This hook is usually used for service pieces, and is meant to outline a problem that concerns a large number of the publication’s readers. You should be able to convince the editor that this is an issue that is important to her readers and that you’ll be providing the solutions to this problem through the article. In the lead, of course, the challenge is to convincingly describe the problem. New twists on a common problem or new problems that are coming up due to modern technologies are very popular these days.
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The Personal Experience Lead
I grabbed my coat, begged dad to lend me his car, and drove as fast as I could to college. As I anxiously walked through the gates, an emptiness in my stomach warned me of what was to come. I pushed along the crowded corridor to stand by the group of students eager to find out how they had fared. A glimpse of the notice board made my heart sink. The worst had happened.
I had failed.
I often use the first-person, “I’ve been through it” approach since it immediately tells the editor that I’m familiar with the subject matter, and can provide great anecdotes and insights. It also suggests that I can give advice from the standpoint of a person who has been there, done that. I know what to do, and more importantly, what not to do. It makes me an indirect expert, it builds reader confidence, and it validates my advice.
A good idea is to look at how articles in the magazine you’re targeting are handled. If they start with first-person, this lead will almost always work. It won’t work with news pieces and trend stories though.
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The “Wow, really?” Lead
Over her husband’s funeral pyre six years ago, Heena Patel, then 21, was informed by her in-laws that he had died of AIDS.
Till then, Ms. Patel had repeatedly questioned his frequent illnesses and received nothing but silence. After he died she had to face the reality that not only had her husband and his family known about his HIV-positive status when he married her, but that she was infected as well.
This is a hook that should make the editor go, “Wow, that’s crazy!” or “Really? I did not know that” or “Oh no! What happened then?” She knows that if she has that reaction, most of her readers will as well. A startling fact, a little-known anecdote about a famous person, or something about a different culture that may be seem bizarre.
This is a great way to open, but of course, remember not to push it too far. You’ll also be required to tie in the shocker with the actual article. And you have to validate it. You can’t use something purely for the shock value. Make sure it’s relevant.
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The Scene-Building Lead
Inside the walls of the Cleopatra restaurant, the atmosphere is serene. Soft music plays in the background while laughter comes in spurts from the tables across the room. Women talk over empty cups of tea and half-eaten sandwiches, and apart from a mobile phone ringing in a woman’s purse, which she scrambles to find and answer, there is peace. The sign on the door reads: “No Male Entry.”
Sometimes, especially in travel pieces, you need to take your editor (and your readers) to some place with you. That’s when you’ll need the scene-building lead. It should be clear very soon though, exactly why you want to take the reader with you on this journey. The scene-building lead works better for articles than it does for query letters. But sometimes it works. In the example above, for instance, I wanted the reader to discover for herself that there are no men allowed inside the restaurant, rather than flat-out saying it. I used this in my article, but if I were querying, I’d use it as well.
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The News/Study/Event Tie-in Lead
The facts: People with disabilities are among the most excluded in Indian society. According to a new World Bank report, disabled adults have far lower employment rates than others–reduced from 43% in 1991 to 38% in 2002.
While estimates differ, most show that people with disabilities form between 4-8 percent of the Indian population, that is, approximately 40-80 million people.
These are some very important, and very interesting statistics. Not to mention, representative of a huge problem. Which is why, even though my article itself was about a project and an industry taking positive and remedial measures, I’ve focused more on the statistics.
In the article itself, I started with the human picture. I began my story by talking about a person’s struggle getting employment. But for my query, I needed to show my (American) editor that the problem (and hence the solution) involved very large numbers.
That’s what this kind of lead does. It doesn’t always work for the final article. But it’s very effective in query letters. This is because it shows, right there in numbers, why your article is important.
Be careful though. Use statistics and research that are new. Also use them only if they actually are interesting and relevant. Numbers for the sake of numbers will mean nothing.
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The Not-What-You-Thought Lead
Picture a Tibetan Buddhist monk and what do you see? A man with a shaved head, maroon and yellow attire, and rosary beads dangling from one hand?
How about speaking English, carrying a cell phone, or releasing a music album?
This is a lead I’ve developed over the years, and that I continue to love. It works so that it starts with one idea, and shocks you with the next. It also sometimes embraces contradictions and challenges stereotypes. Another example of this lead:
Think stereotypes, and you’ll have a variety to choose from. Americans are obese, ignorant and arrogant. The English drink tea, talk posh and assume they’re better than you. Africans are uncivilized. Italian men are womanizers. And Indian women who live alone are morally flawed.
I am one such morally flawed woman.
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The Look-What-She’s-Doing Lead
On September 24, 2006, in nothing more than jeans and a t-shirt, Line Tvete, 48, left her home in Norway, got on her bicycle and started a journey around the world.
Over the last eight months, Lena has cycled through Norway, Sweden, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, Iran, Pakistan and India. I met up with Line in McLeod Ganj, India, where she was volunteering, teaching Buddhist monks English, attending yoga classes and taking a small break from her physical and spiritual journey before heading to Nepal, Tibet, China and then Thailand.
There are many variations to this lead. The above lead is for a personal profile, for instance. But, look closely, and you’ll find that it’s often used for feature articles or service pieces as well. For instance, using the above lead, I could write a whole trend story about how women these days are packing up and taking off for solo trips around the world. I’d interview experts about this trend, I’d locate more women who had done similar things, and I’d cite research and statistics.
Or using, the very same lead, and similar research, I could write a piece on how you can plan a cycling trip around the world. I would interview Line, and instead of focusing on her life story, I’d ask her for tips that she could give to other women. Instead of digging into her personal life, I’d focus more on what she packed, what she read, and how much money she needed to save. Then I’d write a step-by-step piece for my readers.
Needless to say, this is a very popular lead. And it enjoys a high success rate. So much so, that it has an official name– The Zimmerman lead.
The only problem with this lead is in the execution. You really need to spend time with people (your sources) to get the kind of information that would make this lead effective, and like I’ve discussed before, that’s a bit of a problem if you don’t actually have an assignment.
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The Lead that Misleads
A theater troupe consisting of unemployed job seekers, hawkers on the streets of Kolkata, and people who’ve been told they have no prospects in life, come together each evening to sing, dance and hone their acting skills.
Earning little more than Rs. 100 per show, they perform in small theaters, villages, local parks, even on the roadside. Their movements are perfectly coordinated, their dramatically delivered dialogues impressive. And it’s only when you see the ropes placed strategically around the stage to demarcate the boundaries that you begin to question, that you look closer and realize—almost all the performers in the troupe of Anyadesh are blind.
This is a complicated lead, and used very rarely. I’m including it here because I thought I was very clever when I wrote it, though I feel less clever now.
After reading the first paragraph, my reader tends to think that this is a story about very poor people turning to art. I continue to lead my reader down this path of thinking, but then throw in the shocker at the end—-the real story—-the performers are visually impaired.
Now, poor people turning to art is a great story in itself, but by adding another layer, I’ve raised the bar higher. And it comes suddenly. Which is what makes it work.
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The Holiday Tie-in Lead
How often do you run out of cash before you run out of holidays?
The holiday tie-in is very popular. Let’s say you’re thinking of an article on how to lose weight, and it’s April. Considering lead times for national magazines, it’s the perfect time to be proposing a Christmas idea. That’s when people are putting on a lot of weight. And they’re out shopping a lot. Bingo! An article on how to lose weight while you shop.
Any idea can have a holiday tie-in, some holiday tie-in. Think Independence Day, Valentine’s Day, World AIDS Day… so many national and international events that can be tied into your ideas to make them timely.
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