I came across this beautiful essay last week by New York Times bestselling author Jenny Crusie, and absolutely loved it. Even though I can’t really say I agree with it completely, because there’s a difference between accepting a crappy deal in order to get published (something I may do), and accepting a crappy man in order to get married (something I wouldn’t).

Agree, disagree or fall somewhere in between, but do read this. It’s a very interesting look at writing without being dependent on the publishing.

Thank God for Women’s Liberation. You know the Women’s Libbers, the ones who said “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle,” and we all went, “Oh.” And thank God for Gloria Steinem, who said, “Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” She’s the one (among others) who pointed out that waiting for somebody else to grant validation meant giving up control over our lives. She’s the one (among others) who clued us all in and made us stronger and helped guarantee our daughters didn’t fall for the same old lies.

Unfortunately, Gloria didn’t go far enough, probably because she didn’t belong to RWA. She didn’t see the same insidious forces at work in publishing, the same unconscious assumptions, the same frustration and depression. She didn’t see that just as women had to give up being married as a life goal before they could lead full lives as women, so writers must give up being published as a career goal before we can lead full lives as writers.

Cruisie has written some wonderfully insightful essays, so don’t forget to check out the For Writers page on her website as well as her blog.