Back from a Break

In some ways, the last few weeks have just flown by. I am now a proud aunt to two as-yet-unnamed baby girls, one who is not even a week old. Both girls arrived two weeks early, one by an emergency c-section, and both have quickly become aunty M’s favorites. (My best friend and my sister-in-law are doing well.)

In other ways, time has stood still. I’ve been taking time off work to figure out what I want to do next with my career. Having achieved most of the goals I set out to and not having reached the next stage yet, I’m in a bit of limbo. I’ve been meaning to slow down the pace of work for a while now, but doing what I do, the market is such that it’s almost impossible to do that without taking a huge pay cut.

So, with a lot of hope and a few tears, I’ve been trying to figure out my next step. Journalism? Books? Both?

It’s been stressful, trying to change paths a bit. I’m at that stage in my life and career where I’m not constantly taken over by work. I reply to e-mails once a day, I take time out to read, watch television, cook, play with the cat and relax with my family. In some ways, the go-go-go nature of journalism no longer appeals to me. But the only way I’ve ever identified is as a journalist. Without that label, I feel lost.

“I didn’t marry a journalist, I married you,” Sam said to me the other day, as I fretted about how I felt I had no identity left were I to even consider taking a detour from journalism. And that’s been the hardest part of it for me. I’m used to reinventing myself, but having come this far, there’s more to lose.

So I’ve been drawing, decorating, visiting friends, and just laying low. Letting the words come to me instead of chasing after them and hunting them down.

It’s been a good break. But I think it’s time to get back to work now.