Our marriage registration saga continues. We went again on Friday and were told to wait. After waiting for hours, we were again told to wait. Sam got angry and the marriage registration officer threatened us, saying to me, “Tell your husband if he raises his voice, I will throw you out, not register your marriage and make you suffer.” When told this was our third visit, he said we would have to come ten times if he wanted us to. And then, of course, he made sure we would. We were called back on Monday.
The three of us (including my father for good measure) got there before 11 a.m. this morning and left after 4.30 p.m. I’d like to tell you that these six hours were a productive use of our time, but no, all we did was wait. For him to accept our paperwork and put it into processing. That’s right. This is my fifth day off work so that some incompetent guy from the government can look at my paperwork and say, okay, these are the documents we need. Anyway, thankfully, there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. We have a date approximately one month from now, in August, when we’ll get our marriage certificate. In the meantime, we have to go to the local police station and get them to verify that we do actually live where we say we live.
In most countries, when you get married it’s official immediately. In India, there’s no such thing. That’s why you hear about so many gay weddings– they’re getting married in the eyes of God or family or whatever, but in the eyes of the government, they’re not because they haven’t submitted the paperwork. Because the priests or officiators have no legal authority, you’re not legally married (ETA: officially registered) and given a certificate until you’ve gone through this entire time suck (which most people don’t). That’s pretty much our situation right now– we’re married, but in the eyes of the government our marriage doesn’t yet exist on paper. Inefficient? Well, of course. This is India.
Sam and I spent the six hours contemplating why we hadn’t just gone to Vegas instead, and imagining gory ways to make this guy feel pain, and because we’ve recently been watching the last season of 24, we got very creative.
I came back to a box of books though and that cheered me up immediately (I love you, flipkart.com) and now I’m off to salvage what’s left of my day.
How’s your Monday going?
Wow. Does everyone have to go repeatedly to submit their paperwork or is it just you? I got married at the courthouse and had my marriage certificate in ten minutes. Everyone was super helpful, too. But that was in Virginia, where the only real power government employees have is to be rude to you while they complete your request.
Good thing that you’re at least going to get the certificate after all this trouble.
Regarding the marriage part, pretty much everyone in India is not legally married if you go by what you’ve mentioned in your post. I think there is some legal standing even with “regular” (religious) marriages because when there are problems, people can go to the courts and address the issues. (Churches, by the way, do give you a marriage certificate but I am not sure if the government recognizes that. Also, the Church requires you to sign a register along with two witnesses and only then is the marriage considered official.)
You’re right, Percy. Maybe the term I’m looking for is “official”? There is legal standing, but if you want to prove anything about your marriage, you need the certificate. It’s all very confusing to me, and I’m not sure I even want to know any more!
I think it comes down to the Hindu Marriage Act and Special Marriage Act. If you get married by a priest and are both Hindus, you get married by the Hindu Marriage Act and don’t have to come up with all kinds of documents. Ours, like with Christians and Muslims, falls under Special Marriage which is a whole other thing. And the foreigner issue confuses them even more.
I’m not actually sure if the certificate from the Church holds. I saw a Muslim guy today with his Nikah Nama and they actually asked him to bring an English translation!
And P, I think pretty much everyone has to go through this. I went through worse to get my passport, if you can believe it. (They misspelled my name and then forgot to stamp the corrected one. Had I not noticed, I would have been arrested at the airport next time I traveled!)
P.S. I should learn to spell.
Mridu: I think you nailed it when you said that it’s all confusing. I also think that since you married a non-Indian citizen, you’re being made to jump through hoops.
In my mind, the problem with these sorts of requirements boils down to two things: (1) people don’t want to do the basic minimum that is required in their job (2) corruption. Combine the two and you have a heady cocktail that creates a great deal of problems for the common person.
Regarding passport issues, my name was misspelled by the passport guys who had my previous passport and yet “changed” my name. Logic was not something that they were familiar with, so I ended up having to make multiple trips to get my name “changed”. Sigh.
Unbelievable. I’m applying for a UK visa this week and compared to this, I’m so sure it’s going to be smooth sailing.
My life consists of paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork right now.
I’m sure the UK visa experience will be much better.
I’m too lazy to look it up right now but didn’t someone say, I love being a writer, what I hate is the paperwork :-).
Which is precisely why I write on the computer and don’t own a printer.
Your blog post title made me smile (saw your comment on another blogger’s site) because my blog’s name is “Legally Married.” The name is because I’m married to a law student but I can sympathize with your plight. At the last wedding we attended (in Wisconsin), the officiant forgot to sign the marriage certificate, so the bride and groom were banging on his hotel room door at 2 a.m. before they left for their honeymoon!
Since my husband’s been watching the final episodes of 24, and I’ve hung out to see a bit of them, I can imagine what you’re imagining for the government guy. Ugh! Can’t say I blame you.
Hey Mridu
I believe that you can still go to Vegas if you want to. Marriages registered in foreign countries are still legitimate in India.
s
Mridu,
I can’t understand why it’s taking so long to get your marriage certificate - partly, it’d be because your husband is a non-Indian citizen. As you may know, I got married at an ashram, and still we got the papers ready during our first visit to the office (3-4 days after marriage) and in the second visit, a week later or so, they handed us our much valued marriage certificate. And marriage certificate proved essential especially when I changed my surname last year.
Resmi Jaimon