Deadline Hell, Bookish Confusion

I’m in deadline hell. My first column for the magazine I told you about needs to be written soon. I have a piece due to Elle for next month’s issue, two edits due on stories that were written weeks ago, a rewrite of the wastepickers piece I’ve already reported on (and just sold to a new publication). And that’s just this week. Oh, and that essay for Modern Love I’ve been thinking about forever? Well, my muse suddenly decided to show up and without any consideration for my time constraints has decided to go proactive on that one. And my marriage needed to be registered, like, yesterday.

Hello dark circles, bye bye social life.

Do any of you ever experience frustration or confusion about what you should be writing, where to focus your energy? I’ve been feeling that way lately in regards to book writing. I know I’m cut out for it, I’ve even been approached multiple times by various publishers and recommended by editors, but I’ve so far not found something that I’m entirely comfortable with. I haven’t yet found the confidence in fiction, and within non-fiction, I’m not sure what direction to take.

Your typical non-fiction (how to do something) book is something I could do in my sleep and I know I’m very good at, but it doesn’t inspire me. Narrative and memoir really do make me tick, but do I really have the chops to pull something like that off? Where would I even begin? And fiction– well, that’s just going to have to wait until I can dust off that old manuscript and spend some quality alone time with it.

I’m curious. When we’re talking about a lifelong career and your income and life choices depend on it, should you write the things you’re good at or the things that make you swoon?