I’ve been sick. I would have mentioned it here before, except I seemed to be a bit in denial and tried to work (and travel) right through it, which only made it worse.
Today, for the first time in ten days, my head doesn’t feel like a lead balloon sitting on top of a body that was being controlled by alien forces. Ah, how much I’m appreciating my health today. You don’t realize how good you have it until you’re sitting sick in bed wondering how hard it could be to get out and being completely unable to do so.
I’ve mentioned before how sick I get when I travel, but over the last couple of years, it just seems to be getting progressively worse. I start panicking and getting nausea two days in advance of any travel, and while I know it’s in my head, it leads to a massive build up, which means I get pretty sick when I do leave the house.
I’m someone who loves to visit new places, so this fear of getting in a car or on a plane is something I’d like to get over quickly. But I have no idea what I’m dealing with here. Anyone else know what this is or why I become a whimpering hyperventilating idiot each time I’m asked to board a plane? Thought I’d throw it out there for the more experienced among us.
In more positive news, our wedding invitations have arrived! Not long to go now (a month or so), and I have to say, while the wedding is all fine and dandy, we’re both really looking forward to the marriage. The wedding, the way we see it, is just a necessity to get us there, but we’re not that fussed about it. It’s been easy planning it (now more than ever, I don’t get why people have so much angst about weddings) and I guess all that’s left to do is show up and have fun. Oh, and get the final fitting for our outfits. My lovely mother-in-law-to-be bought me my wedding dress, and I think we did good in that department, if I may say so myself.
In the meantime, I’ve got about four deadlines, another week of travel coming up, and queries to send. Can’t say it’s ever boring around here.
UGH…there is nothing worse than feeling like you’re head is about to explode and being sick but still having to plug away regardless. I am prone to some nasty sinus infections and it just sucks all the energy from you. But…how exciting about the upcoming wedding, when is the date? I’m a pretty low maintenance gal myself and have always never understood women who spend months or years scheming and devising the ‘perfect’ wedding. I figure as long as I don’t die of toxic glue poisoning from the envelopes and make it to the honeymoon I’m good to go.
(I don’t know if you’re a big Seinfeld fan, but I am, so sorry if the reference doesn’t make sense.) Try not to stress too much about the travel, easier said than done I know, but just think how great it will be once you’re actually THERE. Where are you headed?
Definitely sounds like you have some anxiety issues when it comes to travel. What you describe sounds a lot like what I go through in general situations (meeting people, going somewhere I haven’t been, etc.), so I’ve been working very hard to breathe and fake how I feel until I actually feel calm.
So excited about your upcoming marriage!
Congratulations on the upcoming wedding! I hope you feel better soon. Sorry I don’t have any advice for the anxiety attacks, but I do hear that deep breathing and meditation work wonders. Good luck!
I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, and that sounds to me like what you’re dealing with. It can manifest in a number of ways: feels like you can’t ever get enough air or like someone’s sitting on your chest, heart palpitations, dizziness, or shaking. A good friend of mine used to have panic attacks in which she’d just black out. Her vision would go out for a while and she had no other symptoms. When she got out of a bad relationship, the catalyst, the spells stopped.
I treat my symptoms and underlying causes with a combo of mild medication and acupuncture (which is the only way I can manage to do anything remotely resembling meditation). I tend to get sick when I travel (migraines and the nausea that can come with them), so sometimes travel makes me extra anxious because I fear getting a migraine on top of the demands of travel like being on time, not throwing up in public… those sorts of polite society things people expect of you
I try to balance it by doing anything that helps: spending too much in the airport on tea and healthy snacks, buying crappy magazines to read (or good ones!), asking for extra juice on the plane, asking the cab driver to pull over if necessary. I still apologize too much, but after a few horrific incidents in which I got sick all over myself in public, I try to be more honest now. “Stop the car, I need to lean out.” TMI? I’m going for helpful and supportive 
In other words, do whatever you need to do. You’re the one who’s gotta live with the consequences.
I had actually been wondering lately what other freelancers do when they get sick. Tough it out? I’m not usually able to do that, in that I’m pretty much down for the count when I get a migraine and have to wait for my drugs to kick in and my symptoms to subside, but I wonder how other people push through.
Mridu, I too have panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, and the panic rears its head most often when I have to travel by plane. But I love to travel, so I have an ongoing prescription for sedatives. The only time I flew without them was when we went to pick up our new son in Arizona…I didn’t want to be zonked out the first time I saw our baby, or when we flew home with him! The flight was actually not bad, and I’m thinking maybe I can try to fly drug-free next time I travel too.
All that to say I’m right there with you, Mridu! Please do talk to a professional…they really can help.