Conversations in My Head

While discussing a movie with Sam:

Him: You do realize we’ve had this exact conversation before?

Me: We have? No, I don’t remember.

Him: Shows how much attention you pay when I’m talking.

Me: It’s not that. I’m always talking to you in my mind, and sometimes I forget which conversations were real and which were in my head.

Him:  You’re a weird little thing, aren’t you?

Me: Hey, you knew that when you married me.

Him: I haven’t married you yet.

Me: In my head, you have.

Happy Days

I’m in love with the weather! Isn’t it a perfect time to lie in bed with some hot chocolate and read? Isn’t the perfect cool weather to wrap yourself in a shawl and go for a long walk in the morning? Isn’t it the perfect time of the year to sit outside and watch the moon and the stars while your favorite music plays in your ears?

I love it. Work is sparse this week, but for once, I’m actually grateful for that. I’ve been working really hard over the past couple of months, and this semi-break is very welcome. While editors ponder over the ideas I’ve sent their way, I’m going to enjoy this downtime by writing some personal essays, or simply watching movies or reading books. Maybe I’ll go stay with a friend who’s been inviting me over for months, or take a day off to discover a new place in the city.

What I’m not going to do is obsess over work or wonder where the next paycheck is coming from. Today, I’m just going to spoil myself rotten.

Now in Print

I have a piece in today’s issue of the International Herald Tribune. I haven’t seen the print issue yet, but Sam’s gone out to get some copies. Tell me what you think!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/business/global/14plastic.html

No Writing Day

I’ve been sitting here all day willing myself to write, but I’ll reach the point soon where I’ll realize it’s pointless, and I should just go watch a movie instead. I did watch one already this afternoon, but no harm in watching another one, hey?

I’ve been a busy little writer over the last few weeks, so I feel I’m owed some downtime and relaxation, but work slows down and picks up at its own pace, and I have no control over it, so I’m just going along with the flow. Except, I’m not really going. I’m groaning and moaning and sitting in front of the darn monitor screen, hoping and praying for some inspiration to strike.

Soon would be nice, thank you.

In between staring at the computer screen, I found the recipe for the perfect hot chocolate (though experts of the Internet differ widely on what exactly makes the hot chocolate perfect) and discovered that one of my favorite authors is now on Twitter, and also had a meaningful discussion with a friend on how celebrities should not be allowed to write anything, because they quickly cease to be hot anymore once they’ve used the multiple exclamation marks (and they all do, you know it) and given virtual high-fives to their other celebrity friends (who also use multiple exclamation marks) and give virtual high-fives to THEIR celebrity friends. Celeb love-fests all around. Blah.

I currently have one assignment on my desk (the one I’m procrastinating on) and once that’s finished, I’m back in querying mode again. I’m very conflicted about which situation I enjoy less: the no work on my desk situation, or the too much work on my desk situation. They both arrive one after the other, every time.

Off to get some writing done. Share your woes if you’re struggling too. My misery would love some company.

CONTEST: Who inspires you?

I used to love running contests back when I had the newsletter, so I’m going to try to start them up again now.

This week, I have a $100 Google AdWords coupon to give away (to be used before November 30).

To win it, all you need to do is post in the comments which writer inspires you. It could be someone whose work has touched you, or someone who made you realize that you too could be successful, or simply someone you know. Share the name of your favorite writer in the comments (by Saturday 9 p.m., GMT), and I’ll post the name of the randomly selected winner on Monday.

Missing

The other day, I had this sudden jerk of a feeling: I missed Berkeley. There was a place in my heart that suddenly longed to be back, that longed to walk down Shattuck Avenue, to downtown Berkeley, and from there to the J-school, passing along my way the Japanese restaurant that Sam and I loved, the Starbucks I never went to except that one time with S when she needed tea, the music store where I bought my audio equipment, the many bookstores I frequently visited, and the large, beautiful library that I never really did spend enough time in.

I missed the smells or maybe the lack of them, the quaint little house where I lived, the well-dressed people going along their way, hurrying along to wherever they needed to be, pulling their coats tightly around them in the winters, their fingers wrapped around their paper cups of coffee. I miss the hugs and the smiles of the homeless people, who always told me to have a good day whether or not I had given them money that day (or ever). I miss Berkeley Bowl, and the creamy cheesecake that was a must-have each time I shopped there. I miss my Korean neighbor who talked a lot, the Burmese diner owner who kept me fed, my American roommate who introduced me to all things American, the way she practiced her Mandarin every evening after coming home from work.

I miss walking into school for our Thursday class, and knowing that we’d have a fascinating discussion, no matter the subject. I miss our dinners, the hours we spent in a coffee shop after class, S and my weekly Thai dinner, M’s constant teasing.

For a moment, as I thought of my life in Berkeley, I couldn’t breathe. Then the feeling passed.