I’ve stopped using IM. I’ve started picking up the phone and calling friends instead.

I’ve stopped e-mailing people for updates. I’ve started asking them to come out for a drink instead.

I used to be a people person; some would say I still am, despite my obvious hermit tendencies. In school, I’d encourage friends to come over all the time.

“Don’t call,” I’d say. “Let it be a pleasant surprise.”

My best friend K would marvel at this. “Most people actually appreciate a phone call,” she’d say. “You’re weird.” But I never could understand the reasoning. Why did K need to call? I always had time for her, heck, I’d make time for her. I knew she would, too. I’d often turn up unannounced at her place.

Then, careers happened. I became a freelance journalist, and when friends started showing up unannounced three hours before my deadline for quick lunch breaks, it became a problem.

“I thought you liked it!” they’d say. Which was true, of course. But editors, schedules, and work were important, too.

Now it’s been years since anyone dropped by unannounced. It’s rude not to call first. It’s also rude not to reply to e-mails within 24 hours. I was off reporting for two days some time back and I wondered if I should put an “out of office” message on my e-mail. Two days!

I miss it. I miss running into a neighbor on the street and having an impromptu two-hour conversation, I miss the laidback and lazy days when no one could reach you, I miss long dinners and lunches and that endless gossip.

That’s why I’m making an effort to take time out for all that again.