I just finished an article that, to me, was really hard to write. Even as I wrote, it was not lost on me that to a more experienced journalist, this piece would have taken no more than a day to finish, while I had already gone two days with no end in sight.

But I had to write the piece in several stages: The information dump, the organization, adding the interviews, putting everything in coherent sentences, and finally, writing with an eye towards language.

I had to write to friends with silly questions like, “What’s the word used to describe when something’s characteristic to someone?” (Her answer: “Uh… ‘characteristic’?”)

And that is probably the hardest part for me as a writer competing with native English speakers. I know that even the ones who can’t spell or tell the difference between its and it’s have a competitive advantage over me, because they do not have to pause while the exact word they’re looking for appears in their head in a completely different language.

“How many times a day do I think of the perfect word and not be able to find the English equivalent?” I asked my Finnish friend the other day. “It’s so frustrating!”

He nodded understanding, and then my Burmese friend chimed in and said he faced similar problems, as did the Indonesian.

But then I think of my friend, a Chinese-American actor/writer, who moved to America as an adult, learned English after arriving here, and is now a novelist who writes in the most beautiful English I have ever read. I got to know his work before I got to know him, and I found it hard to believe that he had come to English as an adult.

While I was writing this, I thought of an essay I’d written a couple of years ago, about my relationship with the English language. I wrote,

“The first words and sentences I spoke were not in English. It’s not the language I use to be informal. I don’t use it to communicate with my family or close friends. It’s not the language with which I express love or anger or pain.

“The first word that comes to mind when I want to support the Indian cricket team isn’t in English. The stubbing of my toe brings out obscenities, but not in English. And of all the good jokes I know, most aren’t in English.

…

“I make my living writing in English. When I’m trying to win an argument, I instinctively start talking in English. I lie better in English. I pray in English.”

And so, on I go, spending three days writing where only one was needed, working towards that day when maybe it’ll only take two. Until then, I have a thesaurus.