I have about three more deadlines before the end of the month. Most of these are how-to pieces that I write under a pseudonym. I’d never actually thought I’d be writing under an assumed name, and it’s not like I don’t like this work—some of it is actually quite good. I just don’t want these pieces to be the first thing an editor sees when he or she searches for my name on Google. And they probably would be. So that’s strictly for-money work. I get no joy from it, except maybe for the paycheck that comes every month (on time, every time).

I was sitting outside drinking tea yesterday, thinking of how I could replace this income, and then I suddenly realized: I didn’t want to. I was reminded of a conversation I had with one of my Professors the other day. I was moaning about how I don’t get to focus my energy on work that I want to do, and instead, have to spend about fifty per cent of my time writing this stuff for the money. He said I should consider myself lucky that I get to do a fifty-fifty. A fifty-fifty is the best percentage there is, he said. Most people are lucky if they get to do a eighty-twenty.

He’s right. Most writers I know write for trade magazines or take up copywriting for the money. I’m lucky in that I don’t have to do that. My work is 100% consumer and mass media. I don’t supplement it with any other kind of writing at all. I do make a living writing only for consumer magazines and newspapers. How did I not realize that before?

He also told me that even though I’m itching for the investigative journalism now, I’m going to need a break now and again, and these “fluff pieces,” as I call them, are what will keep me sane.

After three weeks of intense research on topics that don’t quite make me feel good about the world, I’ve realized he’s right. I’ll need to hold on to that distraction for the sake of my sanity.