Archive for ◊ January, 2008 ◊

29 Jan 2008 Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: What I'm Reading  | Tags: ,  | Leave a Comment

Rating: ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

Comments: Another great book with some very interesting insights. I like how Lamott pushes through her loneliness rather than recoiling from it. And even though it seems like a straightforward book about her son’s first year, it’s so much more. There’s spirituality, there’s the battle of knowing you’re losing someone you love, there’s the wonderment of the first child, and then there’s daily life. Through it all, she has grace, and she has humor.

***

From the Book:

Once I asked my priest friend, Bill Rankin, if he really believed in miracles, and he said that all I needed to do was to remember what my life used to be like and what it’s like now. He said he thought I ought to change my name to Exhibit A.

***

I think he believed that our job, the job of a writer, is not to get up and say, “Tomorrow, in battle, most of you will die…” Instead a writer must entertain the troops the night before. I think he believed that the best way to entertain the troops is to tell stories, and the ones that they seem to like the best are ones about themselves. You can tell sweet lies or bitter truths, and both seem to help, but it’s like Czeslaw Milosz said when he won the Nobel Prize for Literature, “In a room where people unanimously maintain a conspiracy of silence, one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot.”

***

Part of me loves and respects men so desperately, and part of me thinks they are so embarrassingly incompetent at life and in love. You have to teach them the very basics of emotional literacy. You have to teach them how to be there for you, and part of me feels tender toward them and gentle, and part of me is so afraid of them, afraid of any more violation.

***

I keep remembering a letter Simone Weil wrote to her mother in France, when the mother was panic-stricken because Simone was doing all this radical social-activist work with the poor, even though she (Simone) was very frail, very sick. Simone said to her mother something like, “I love you, and if I had two lives, I would give you one. But I don’t.”

***

And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.

***

People who write novels
Often live in hovels.

***

I can still get that sense that we are a complete family unit, but sometimes I’m so hungry for a partner, a lover. One thing I know for sure, though, is that when you are hungry, it is an act of wisdom each time you turn down a spoonful if you know that the food is poisoned.

***

28 Jan 2008 100 Things That Make Me Happy
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: To Do Before 30  | Tags:  | Leave a Comment

To Do Before I’m 30: #10: Identify 100 things that make me happy.

Wow, this was a tough list to make. I got some help from other people’s lists, (you’re a lifesaver, Google!), but I really did enjoy making it. It was a good exercise, and I realized how much we sometimes take the small but wonderful things in our life for granted.

001. When someone sends me a growing gift on Facebook.
002. Running on wet grass.
003. Tickling a child.
004. Reaching a goal and checking the item off my to-do list.
005. Getting drenched in the rain.
006. Eskimo kisses. They always make me giggle.
007. French kisses. I never giggle.
008. Reminiscing with friends about old times and the fun we had.
009. Dancing without any rhythm to really loud music.
010. Reading a funny book.
011. Watching a funny movie.
012. Someone reading to me.
013. Reading to someone.
014. Body painting.
015. Singing really loudly and completely out-of-tune.
016. Being woken up by a crazy dog climbing on top of me and licking my face.
017. Watching babies sleep. Playing with their tiny fingers.
018. Licking the bowl after making cake mix.
019. Looking through old photo albums.
020. Hearing from someone I never thought I’d hear from again (thank you, Facebook!)
021. Hot tea on a cold day.
022. Cold ice-cream on a hot day.
023. Long talks with mom about anything and everything.
024. Getting out of bed early and feeling awake.
025. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
026. Having someone play with my hair.
027. McDonalds french fries. (I eat them so rarely– about once a year– which is why I love them.)
028. Lying on the ground and watching the moon and the stars.
029. Pillow fights.
030. Having someone cook a meal specially for me.
031. Going to the bookstore, and actually buying stuff.
032. Eating momos.
033. Meeting a new person/making a new friend.
034. Movie marathons.
035. Jigsaw puzzles.
036. Online gaming.
037. Getting a book in the mail.
038. Movie popcorn.
039. Listening to Collective Soul.
040. Midnight phone calls.
041. When someone brings me chocolate from abroad (usually my brother).
042. Twix bars. (Breaking them into two is half the fun.)
043. Jumping on the bed.
044. Buying a new ring.
045. When an editor says “well done.”
046. When an editor responds to an idea with, “I like this, Mridu.”
047. Jumping rope.
048. Playing hopscotch.
049. Hiding under the covers and pretending to be trapped in a cave.
050. Scoring a bingo on scrabulous.
051. Roadside tea and bread pakoras (especially when it’s freezing or raining)
052. Trying to translate Harry Potter to Punjabi. (Hari Puttar!)
053. When someone comments on my blog.
054. Getting a fat paycheck.
055. Saying something clever that makes someone laugh out loud.
056. Having 0 new e-mails.
057. Finishing an assignment, and finishing it well.
058. Having long philosophical discussions.
059. A hug from behind.
060. When I predict something and it comes true.
061. When I really want something, and it magically appears.
062. A good night’s sleep.
063. Saying “I told you so,” singing “I told you so, I told you so,” and dancing to the tune of “I told you so!”
064. Laughing for absolutely no reason.
065. Private jokes shared in the middle of a crowd.
066. Tickling my fiance.
067. Selling a personal essay.
068. When an editor says, “This is a very impressive clip file.”
069. Getting a spiffy haircut.
070. Taking pictures of people when they’re not looking.
071. Taking self-portraits that come out well.
072. Listening to a child sing.
073. Roller-coaster rides (I love roller coaster rides, though just in theme parks, not in life).
074. Getting funky (and personalized) gifts.
075. Having a dream so great, I wake up smiling.
076. Blowing soap bubbles.
077. Kisses from little kids.
078. Watching fireworks.
079. Seeing friends finally get out of unhealthy and crazy relationships.
080. Meeting people who’re creating a difference in the world.
081. Learning a new obscure word and actually using it.
082. Making eggs and not burning them.
083. Australian accents, British accents, French accents.
084. Friends I can call because “I want to hear you speak Australian again.” (They usually laugh and hang up on me.)
085. Getting flowers.
086. Writing on the sand.
087. Looking at my work and thinking, “Damn, I can write well!”
088. Dreaming big dreams about the future with people I care about.
089. Practicing my “Indian man on the street” English accent or my “Israeli English” accent on unsuspecting strangers.
090. Finishing each other’s sentences.
091. Getting calls from the airport when someone is leaving. Calling from the airport when I’m leaving. (It’s bittersweet, actually. The calls are great, the leaving not-so-great.)
092. A good long workout.
093. Potato chips. (I love the stuff, and never put on weight. Please don’t hate me.)
094. Finally meeting someone I met online or an editor I’ve only worked with via e-mail or phone.
095. Traveling to Mcleod Ganj. (It’s my favorite place in the world and we’re now planning yearly reunions.)
096. Heart-shaped candy. It’s so ridiculous, I can’t help laughing.
097. Soft, comfortable pajamas. Soft, comfortable socks.
098. Rediscovering a favorite song and playing it over and over and over and over and over.
099. When someone sings to me (bonus points if they make up a personalized song on the spot. Even more bonus points for guitar-playing abilities.)
100. Finishing this list!

27 Jan 2008 QLTS: 4.3 - Tuning into Public Places
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: Query Letters That Sell  | Tags: , , ,  | Leave a Comment

Now that you’ve got your experts all rounded up, you’ll also need to interview people who can actually share their experiences with you. Starting your query with an anecdotal lead is one of the most effective ways to get an editor’s attention, and it’ll save you a whole lot of research headaches if you’ve already got your people stories rounded up.

Whether you’re looking for a person to describe a hot first date, or to discuss his life as someone who is HIV positive, you need to practice patience and compassion. It can sometimes be tough to get people to talk about their most personal feelings and emotions. So you need to be very careful to understand their concerns, and not come across as the reporter who’s just after a story, but as one who cares.

***

Be a Pest

It comes with the territory. If you’re looking for stories from everyday people, you’ll need to rely on your social network (at first). That includes your sister, your sister’s friend, your sister’s friend’s brother… you get the idea. Talk to your family members, friends, and neighbors, asking them to refer people they know, further asking those people to refer people they know, and so on. Don’t forget the professionals you come into contact with every day—your doctor, your hair stylist, and your masseuse could all possibly lead you to people with stories to tell.

***

Message ‘em and They Will Come

When you’re writing about common topics such as house-cleaning or successful garage sales, jump online. What I do is seek out a message boards on that topic (you’ll be surprised at how many there are!), or if I can’t find a specific one, then one with a broader range, and leave a message for the moderator briefly describing my article and asking if I can hang around the board and solicit potential interviewees. I leave my e-mail address so that respondents who don’t mind being interviewed can get in touch with me briefly (always verify their identity).

Or, if your article is pretty broad in range, and you don’t mind, walk out on to the street and talk to people you see.

***

Ask Your Expert

If you’ve interviewed a doctor for a cancer article, ask him if he wouldn’t mind recommending you to his patients and asking them if they’d be willing to talk to you. This can be a little problematic, especially if you’re interviewing detectives or counselors, for instance, who can’t divulge details of their clients. In this case, leave your phone number, and ask that the patients contact you if they’re interested instead of the other way around.

26 Jan 2008 QLTS: 4.2 - Hunting Down the Experts
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: Query Letters That Sell  | Tags: , , , , , ,  | Leave a Comment

Finding those billion-dollar, appeared-on-Oprah, gazillion letters after their name experts isn’t all that tough. In fact, with a little bit of preparation and some persistence, you can fill up your Rolodex pretty quickly.

Here are some ways.

***

Scour the Databases

There are a number of databases that list experts in various areas. Some of the more popular ones are www.experts.com and www.expertclick.com. The experts are divided into various categories and you can narrow down your search by surfing through that particular category and looking at the credentials of each listed person. You’ll find that each professional has a bio, an office address, a phone number, and an e-mail address listed.

If someone seems like an interesting candidate for an interview, shoot off a quick e-mail or make a phone call to establish whether or not they’d be interested in talking to you. The drawbacks of this method are that sometimes listings can be very old and many people just don’t respond. Also keep in mind that since anyone can join freely, it’s possible that many of the “experts” are not experts at all, but amateurs.

For many more expert directories, check out:
http://www.journalismnet.com/experts/

***

Send a Request

Some websites such as Profnet.com and Newswise.com allow you to send a brief write-up about your article to their database of experts and PR people. Those experts who match the description or know about your subject matter can then contact you directly if they’re interested in being interviewed for your piece.

Journalists and freelance writers from around the world swear by Profnet, since it makes their work a lot easier. The biggest benefit of services like these is that you’re contacted by people who know what they’re talking about (they pay to be listed), and are genuinely interested in being quoted. So you won’t need to chase around too much.

The problem with services like this, however, is that a lot of PR agencies are listed, and they tend to be over-eager and sometimes respond to off-topic requests. Depending on the service you’re using, you do have the option to complain if you receive off-target pitches.

How Profnet works:

1. You figure out what kind of information you need, and the types of experts who would best help you uncover it.
2. Log into your free account at Profnet.com.
3. Enter your contact information, the magazine you’re writing for, and give a brief description of what you’re looking for.
4. Select the kind of organizations that should receive your request (small businesses, university departments, government organizations, etc), along with the country and region, if applicable.
5. Send your request.
6. Professionals in the organizations you’ve specified and who are signed up to Profnet will receive your request, and if interested, contact you directly.
7. You can now interact with these people directly.

***

Hit the Bookstores

Head to your nearest bookstore and check out the latest titles related to the subject of your article. You can also do this through Amazon.com. Note down the names of the authors and publishers, and then look them up on Google for contact information. Sometimes you’ll find the author directly, at other times you can contact the publisher. Most authors, especially those with books out recently, are not only experts but also looking for publicity, so I find they’re always eager to help a reporter out.

Another method that has worked for me in the past is to contact specialty publishers a request and ask them to suggest any of their authors who might be able to help me.

***

Make Time for Personal Relations

PR firms serve a very important purpose when it comes to big corporations and businesses. If you’re looking to interview the CEO of a big international firm, for instance, you’re going to have to go through his or her PR people. Usually though, how cooperative a PR person is depends on the publication you’re working for, and the intentions he thinks you have.

***

Be a Collector

Press releases can give you more than just ideas, they give you leads. For experts who want to be interviewed.

Companies, both big and small, will often send out press releases regarding company policies, product launches and high-level staff changes. They also make comments on controversies, issues of public interest, and upcoming events. If you’re looking to interview someone on the staff of that company, the press releases can give you an in.

Authors too, send out media releases when their books are published.

The thing about finding contacts through press releases is that these people are looking for publicity. They’re highly likely to be responsive to your requests, but they’re also likely to have agendas.

For hardcore journalism, skip the people who have something to promote.

***

Find the Association

You’ll find dozens of associations, non-profit organizations and clubs on almost every topic imaginable. Look up the Encyclopedia of Associations (for American associations), use Google for other areas. Almost all have websites these days.

You can call them and ask to speak to their public affairs person, or simply e-mail your request, and it’ll get forwarded.

To find organizations in India for people with hearing disabilities, for instance, you would search for “hearing disability organization India.”

Also look up public affairs offices at universities.

***

Use Directories

I wouldn’t have a career without Google, I can tell you that! You can find almost any kind of expert by searching for the right keywords and phrases.

But don’t just use Google. You’ll find Yellow Pages and media directories and business directories, and tons of resources that’ll lead you to the right resources.

Sometimes, instead of finding an expert, find his or her place of work. So if you’d like to interview a gourmet chef, look up restaurants and call the head chef. Or if you’re looking to talk to salsa instructors, look up dance schools and call them.

Most phone companies provide good directory services as well. In India, the Airtel helpline is very helpful for locating businesses. You’ll also find services like Just Dial (www.justdial.com) that are extremely helpful in finding local business persons to interview. (I recommend their phone service.)

***

Check the Competition

If your topic has been written about before (and of course it has, in one way or another), see what kind of sources other journalists have used. Also look at articles on similar topics with different slants. Could the expert quoted in “50 Ways Couples Can Save Money” be interviewed for your “Save your Marriage from Financial Turmoil” piece? Could the dietitian interviewed for a things-to-eat-during-pregnancy piece be any help for your college-student’s-guide-to-eating-right article?

25 Jan 2008 QLTS: 4.1 - Shmoozing for Quotes
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: Query Letters That Sell  | Tags: , ,  | Leave a Comment

When writing features for magazines and newspapers, you’ll need to find people to validate what you say. So if you’re working on an article on say, prostate cancer, you’ll need to interview experts who can explain technical terms, patients who’ve battled it out, and maybe even a couple of celebrities who’re willing to add their own two cents.

But let’s say you had cancer and made it through successfully, or you’re a syndicated columnist on all things health. Aren’t you sufficiently an expert to write the article by yourself? Sure you are. But unless you have a Ph.D. after your name or a job title to prove otherwise, to the general reader, you’re just a writer. Not a doctor or an expert who can talk without authority about symptoms and cures.

So an expert will help you:

(1) find information you don’t have,
(2) reinstate things you already know, or maybe correct misconceptions that you may have about the topic, and maybe even,
(3) provide research and statistics to help with your piece.

Putting a few expert quotes in your query letter has an advantage—the editor sees that you’ve already done your research and is more likely to take a chance on you and your idea, especially if it’s an idea that is new and hasn’t been validated already.

Keep in mind though, that each expert you quote in your query (or article) needs to have something different to say, each personal story should be unique, and each quote should add something of value. You have to choose your experts wisely, using a variety of methods. There’s nothing more frustrating than having a 48-hour deadline only to find that one of your experts has bailed on you, the other wouldn’t move beyond his personal life history, and your main subject for the story left town without signing the release form (newspapers generally don’t require them, many national magazines do).

The idea is to use a combination of several techniques to find the best experts for your topic, instead of relying on solely one technique and getting whatever you can.

(For queries, I recommend quoting not more than one expert, sometimes none. It depends on the kind of article you’re proposing to write. For a profile, for instance, you obviously need to present a lot of background information on a person.)

***

What Comes First?

You need experts to take out time from their busy schedules to give you attention-grabbing statistics and quotes, everyday people to spill the juiciest secrets of their personal lives, and quotes and anecdotes that will leave the editor asking for more. But it’s tough enough getting these things when you have an assignment in hand, let alone when you’re just sending out proposals. Interviewees like to know who you’re writing for before they actually give you their time or part with valuable information, and you don’t want to have to go back and tell them you don’t really have an assignment, right? Just what is a poor writer to do?

Because this is such a challenge, most writers will leave out the expert quotes from their query letters completely. They figure, if the editor likes the idea, they can get quotes later. This is not always such a good idea.

For one, the further you go up in your career, the more complicated topics you’ll have to handle. You’ll need to talk to experts in order to see if the idea you’re proposing actually is viable before you go proposing it to an editor. Secondly, editors like to see facts. They like to see research. And they need to see that it’s coming from a credible source. And finally, if you’re planning to profile a person or a business, you may need to talk to them to convince the editor why they’re worthy of being written about.

Unless you’re breaking a story or have an exclusive on someone, it’s best to give the name of your sources when required. And if you can get quotes to support your research and findings, all the better. In the least, I recommend giving an idea of the kind of people you plan to quote in your article.

So here’s what I do: When I have an idea for a pitch, say for a quick health story, I’ll do some research, find experts that I think I want to interview, and write a quick note to them asking them if I could talk to them for a few minutes. I let them know that I’m writing the proposal for a story, and also give them an idea of what kind of publications I’m targeting. My initial interview is usually over e-mail, or I might make a quick phone call that usually lasts no more than five or ten minutes. I tell them that I’m still researching the viability of my idea, so that they don’t feel disappointed later if I’m unable to sell the story.

If the query makes the final cut, great! I go back to my experts and get more information. If not, I keep sending it around until it is, and I let my experts know that I’m shopping it around.

Tip: Most professionals have access to current research, statistics, and lists of reference books and articles on their area of specialization. Ask them if they can provide that information to you. (Always recheck it.)

24 Jan 2008 To Do Before I’m 30: #38, 55
Author: Mridu Khullar Relph |  Category: To Do Before 30  | Tags: , , ,  | Leave a Comment

#38: Take a writing class.

I’ve sort of unofficially declared 2008 as my year of learning. Learning in terms of career, of course, but also in terms of learning about new cultures, learning different skills, and learning in the sense of acquiring more personality traits (learn to be more tolerant), etc.

What I’ve also done, however, is put aside time and resources for learning things that will actually make a difference in my writing. Better researching, how to interview for radio, that sort of thing.

Which of course, brings me to goal #38. I’m taking a writing class. I’m putting in time to learn one-on-one how to write essays that work. My instructor is someone who has been published in O, the Oprah Magazine, the New York Times, The Washington Post, Essence, Ladies Home Journal, Woman’s Day, and many more.

My first lesson is over. I’ll be done with the course in mid-February. I’ll post updates.

***

#55: Meet four people I admire. - (1/4)

I met person #1 a few days ago. I don’t think he knows that I admire him, or to the extent that I do. But if I could have half the talent or intelligence or compassion this person does, well, that would be something.

I’ve said this before I’m sure, but I’ll say it again– some of the most successful and brilliant people, are also some of the most down-to-earth. This person didn’t have to meet with me. In fact, it would have been easier for him to blow me off. But he met me, welcomed me like I was special, and gave me his time and his expertise. He gave me tips for my writing and my research, and helped me see how I could do better. He also showed me some of his stories, and explained to me how he’d written them. What was in it for him? Absolutely nothing!

He’s a very successful writer (you’ve likely heard of him), and I’m of course, overjoyed that I got to meet him in person and get his advice.

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