Should You Reply to Fan Mail?

I wrote to three people recently, telling them I loved their work. Didn’t get a single reply. So I began wondering, am I the only one who actually replies to fan mail (and makes some pretty cool friends that way)? I asked a couple of writers in order to find out. Almost all of them said that yes, they reply to fan mail as long as it isn’t downright freaky. Others said they didn’t reply only when the volume got too hard to handle.

My take on this is that unless you’re a hotshot artist and get hundreds of letters a day, always, always, always reply to people who’ve taken the time to write to you. Apart from the fact that these people could be on the higher rung of the ladder and could actually help you in your career, it’s also a matter of common courtesy. I’m not remotely famous or anything and I get an average of two to three e-mails a day telling me that I’m loved, so I know that replying to each one can take up a lot of time. But I do it anyway. Because I want people who write to me to know that their words are appreciated.

What do I do with these e-mails? I collect them. I save them for the really low days when I feel worthless and think this writing path isn’t worth it. I then go through all these mails one by one and realize why it IS worth every frustrating minute of it. I have readers who love what I do, even if I’m not perfect and make the most humiliating mistakes. A little thank you note seems very small in comparison.

One of the early articles that I did for a website got me my first letter of feedback. The reader wrote to me saying that I had a lot of talent and that she hoped to see my name everywhere in the next couple of years. For a nobody writer who didn’t believe in herself, that one letter served as encouragement for the many ruthless months that followed. Whenever I felt frustrated at my lack of success or doubted my talent, I’d go back to that letter and know that there was one person in this world who thought I could make it. If this stranger who knew nothing about me thought I could make it, why didn’t I?

Your readers are what make you. By writing to them, interacting with them, you’re endearing yourself to them. By giving them the cold shoulder, you run the risk of alienating them. A fan who gets a response (even if it’s just a one-line thank you), becomes your fan forever. When you’re famous, you have the luxury of not replying to fan mail or hiring an assistant. In the meantime, love those who love you.

Silence Can Be The Best Revenge

I did something today that I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing two months ago. I deleted an e-mail without replying to it.

Let me explain.

Like almost every other writer on the planet, I get feedback. LOTS of feedback. In fact, I can safely say that I get at least one e-mail a day commenting on something I wrote, my book, my website or my work in general. Thankfully, most of these e-mails are kind, gracious and absolutely heart-warming, and they never fail to make my day. Then, there are the others. To the kind e-mails, I say a huge thank you, both in my reply and in my heart. But it’s those other e-mails that leave me blank.

When someone objects to something I wrote, I don’t mind, but it’s when they’re outright rude that it bugs me. I’m tempted to say something along the lines of “Get a life,” or “So if you’re such a hotshot, how come I’ve never heard of you?” or something that I really can’t write on this blog. But I don’t. In a mature fashion, I reply to that rude e-mail in the most gracious manner possible and hope that the person will have learned that a bad attitude doesn’t really get you anywhere.

But you know what I realized today? I don’t have to reply, think about or even acknowledge these e-mails. Just like that.

So when an e-mail came today telling me quite rudely that my free e-course needed to have more material (it already has 12 lessons!), instead of saying, “Why don’t I just give you my e-book for free? I’m sure that’ll suit your cheap personality,” I didn’t respond at all. I just deleted it. I got closure. The person who sent me that e-mail probably didn’t.

How’s that for revenge?

Stuck in a Rut? Try Introduction Letters

You know a great way to get assignments from editors? Introduction Letters! I’ve been sending out introduction letters to editors I want to work with for the past couple of weeks, and I’ve been getting great success. So far I’ve received assignments from around seven editors and I haven’t had to think of ideas, write up queries or do anything other than send a letter saying I’m interested in writing for them.

I think part of the reason this approach is working for me is because I already have quite a bit of experience under my belt. Secondly and more importantly, I have a website where I can direct editors. With my introduction letter, I don’t include clips. I write a short bio and encourage them to check out my website. When they do, they realize I’m not a hack! I don’t have to sell myself over and over; my website’s already doing that for me. And finally, I don’t forget to mention that I specialize in catering to international clients! This used to be my biggest bottleneck when it came to getting assignments from editors. Now it’s my biggest selling point.

And since a couple of you wrote to ask me what I’m doing these days, here’s the low-down: I just finished up an assignment for Women’s Health & Fitness, am doing a nutrition piece for ePregnancy, interviewing experts for another college-oriented magazine, got a fabulous assignment for CE Lifestyles and am discussing five different ideas with the editor of a start-up for Asians in America. I also just wrapped up my second assignment for Wedding Dresses, and got the latest issue of Writer’s Digest, with what else– my article! Got six deadlines coming up in the next week and a couple more in the week after that (see why I haven’t been blogging lately?).

Oh, and my insomniac ways are back. Don’t look at me weird; I can’t help it. Really! But I’m SO not working 90-hour weeks anymore, and I’m happy that I’ve been able to make that decision guilt-free. I can safely say now that I’m a “recovered” workaholic.