I did something today that I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing two months ago. I deleted an e-mail without replying to it.
Let me explain.
Like almost every other writer on the planet, I get feedback. LOTS of feedback. In fact, I can safely say that I get at least one e-mail a day commenting on something I wrote, my book, my website or my work in general. Thankfully, most of these e-mails are kind, gracious and absolutely heart-warming, and they never fail to make my day. Then, there are the others. To the kind e-mails, I say a huge thank you, both in my reply and in my heart. But it’s those other e-mails that leave me blank.
When someone objects to something I wrote, I don’t mind, but it’s when they’re outright rude that it bugs me. I’m tempted to say something along the lines of “Get a life,” or “So if you’re such a hotshot, how come I’ve never heard of you?” or something that I really can’t write on this blog. But I don’t. In a mature fashion, I reply to that rude e-mail in the most gracious manner possible and hope that the person will have learned that a bad attitude doesn’t really get you anywhere.
But you know what I realized today? I don’t have to reply, think about or even acknowledge these e-mails. Just like that.
So when an e-mail came today telling me quite rudely that my free e-course needed to have more material (it already has 12 lessons!), instead of saying, “Why don’t I just give you my e-book for free? I’m sure that’ll suit your cheap personality,” I didn’t respond at all. I just deleted it. I got closure. The person who sent me that e-mail probably didn’t.
How’s that for revenge?
Wednesday, 3. August 2005
Hello Mridu…the internet just sucks you in and you jump from one site to the next…needless to say I ended up on your doorstep and got a warm welcome as well as an interesting read…I admire your drive!
Natasha
Thursday, 4. August 2005
When I was a newspaper editor, I’d get letters questioning everything from my writing ability to the marital status of my parents. It was a great training ground for what you’re talking about here - it comes down to whether we ARE our writing, and of course we are not. It’s a product, produced more personally than most, but still apart from who we are.
Business is business and personal is personal. And we can’t take our business too personally.
Friday, 5. August 2005
Looking at it from the point of view of a person who has actually sent a few of those angry tirades…sometimes I’ve received a very courteous reply and that’s made me apologise and rethink my position. Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re wrong, and sometimes…well, sometimes you’re an ……. . So while it does help (time wise) to ignore all hate mail, with some people it also helps if you just give them the benefit of the doubt.
Just a thought. I still agree with you on this though
Saturday, 6. August 2005
People are often much ruder in emails and on forums than they would ever be if they had to speak to you. The distance allows them to feel protected from your reaction.
I think you are quite right not to reply. That way they don’t even have the satisfaction of knowing whether or not you read the email.